This morning I awoke from a restless sleep. I remember still being awake at 1:30 even though I laid down at 9:00 and had an alarm set for 5:00. Within the short amount of time that I was actually unconscious I had a very vivid dream. I was running towards a finish line, my legs in agony while everyone passed me with smiles on their faces. I felt like I couldn't take another step, so I turned around and started running backwards, the only thing propelling me was my falling center. When my alarm brought me back to consciousness I felt pain running through my entire body, it felt like I had just ran the race that my mind had created. It took me four hours before I could muster the energy to leave my bed.
For the past three weeks I have found myself in the deepest rut I have ever experienced. My body is in the best shape it has ever been in but it feels like my head has been missing. My doctor has pinpointed the cause of all this, a group of muscles in my neck, but the medication and stretches I have been told to do have little affect on my situation. When I walk my steps seem to fall instead of being placed, my path sways in front of me when I try to keep it straight. Each night I hope that I'll be better in the morning, that I can return to my normal self and go back to work, but each morning I find myself in the same spot. The constant sense of failure has started to push me into a depression, something that I thought could never happen to me.
Totals:
Pushups - 4050
Situps - 4050
Jian Form - 30
Kempo - 10
Acts of Kindness - 1
Have you tried seeing a Chriopactor about your neck? If you want I will give you the contact info for the one I see. (He understands what we put our bodies though each day)
ReplyDeleteI have not seen a chiropractor and I would appreciate the contact info. I will be at the Sihing and I Ho Chuan classes tonight, if I could get it then I would appreciate it immensely.
DeleteOy, what a strange dream (although I love the ingeniousness of running backwards - using whatever you have left in you to keep going...).
ReplyDeleteI highly recommend acupuncture for ANYTHING that ails you - mental, physical or other... JADE in SP is amazing, check them out. https://plus.google.com/116622378036734283817/about?gl=ca&hl=en
Realizing you are in a rut is the first step in getting out of it. Keep on pushing yourself; you are doing amazing!!!
I concur with both chiropractor and acupuncture.
ReplyDeleteAlso, it might be time to do a diet analysis to ensure you are getting enough nutrients in your body for the training you are doing. I can help you with that if you like.
Make sure you snag one of us at the kwoon if you need to talk. We're all here for you if you need a hand (or a centre ha ha ha! sorry I couldn't resist:).
ReplyDeleteI find that to be a very interesting dream. How in your dream you use your issues with balance and center as an advantage to help you continue running the race. I have been watching you struggle with your form In the I Ho Chuan class coming up with ideas and techniques. Have you considered the drunken monkey style and approach to your form. With your current issues you have a unique perspective and understanding of centering. The balance and center issues may be well complimented by this style and it would also help to mask any stepping slips that could occur during performance and training. Keep ip the blogging we are all very interested in where you are and what you are doing.
ReplyDelete